An Analysis on My Personal Growth

Hey you all… I’ve missed you!

I am currently working on a big project that’s been keeping me from writing for a while, but I’ve attempted to create some sort of schedule for myself so that I can continue to connect with you all more often.

I woke up this morning thinking about how far I’ve come on my personal growth journey over the last year. I’m not embarrassed to say that less than a year ago, I was utterly confused and lost in life, and didn’t even know who I was, what my purpose was, or where I want to be in 10 years, and I definitely would have denied all of this back then too… I also know that feeling of being ‘lost’ because I was going with the norms of society was because I was influenced by a conditioned mindset. When I really began to feel down and that something wasn’t right with the way my life was flowing, I began to do some inner digging to figure out what was missing.

I started to question why I was the way I was because truly, I wanted to feel genuinely happy, I wanted to be an independent-thinker, a world-changer, a positive light, a giver, a good energy attract-er… but on the outside, I was so influenced by society that I couldn’t reach these internal desires because I still felt so inclined to meet societal standards (which are illusions to keep people tamed and unfree thinkers)… I stigmatized people often to feel better about myself, tried to fit in with crowds in school to feel good about myself, valued GPAs over my own self care, shaped my life decisions based off of other people’s opinions, felt like I wasn’t beautiful, and the list of distractions goes on… These distractions, and many others, are negative impacts that society has placed on us by conditioning our mindsets in various ways. In analyzing these past behaviors of mine, it is obvious that my mindset was conditioned by my environment,  TV shows, certain music, bad politics, and societies endorsements that ‘living’ and ‘happiness’ is money, power, popularity, having a specific body, getting $100k in student loans for brain-washed education in order to be ‘successful…’ I was just a lost soul being controlled by outside sources because I thought that if I didn’t meet a societal ‘quota’ then I would just be a failure… I know many of us have felt/feel this way, even if you don’t recognize it yet… I have some resources that could help.

At the end of this post, I will link all of the books and articles that I read and can be beneficial to your journey, too.

Keep in mind: I am fresh on my journey. I am just getting started. I am not a professional. I have a long way to go. I just know what helped me.

 Artwork by Isabel Bryna

Artwork by Isabel Bryna

The key to my life turning around was researching and completely engulfing myself in the law of attraction, The Universe, self-help books, positivity, mindfulness, not engaging in gossip, astrology, numerology, unfollowing certain people on Instagram, switching up the type of music I listened to, and the list goes on… I literally became determined to cleanse my life from all negative sources so that I could master my mind for the betterment of myself. I also had to recognize illusions of the system to understand why so much of our society is hurting, angry, and lost… why I was hurting, angry, and lost (because of societal distractions, the system, not having knowledge of the higher-self and subconscious mind).

I really started listening to my inner self… During this time, I was attending American University in Washington, D.C., studying computer science and information systems. But, I hated it; I only studied in that field because all I ever heard from people was, “Go into IT, you’ll have a job and financial security when you graduate. Study something ambitious even though it isn’t your passion you’ll have money. It doesn’t matter if you get in a lot of debt because you’ll be able to pay for it when you graduate.” So, I listened for the first two years, and I tried to take other classes that were in my interest area, but even still, I felt deceived, frauded, and exploited by the lack of quality in the education system, and the myth that getting a college education somehow means you’ll always have a high paying job, you can read why that’s not true here. Shortly after deciding that college is bull and not for me, I left America’s higher education system, not because I dis-value education, but because the education system is simply a pawn, a tactic, a propaganda to condition our mindsets even more and moves us further away from being free thinkers. Bob Marley once said, “they [the system] brainwash education, to make us the fools,” and it’s true, college is a systematic institution that keeps us in a “rat race,” and in constant competition with each other, a tactic to distract us from the power we house within ourselves. I’ve never seen anything like it until entering the college arena–it’s full-on crabs in the barrel–everyone is always tearing each other down, comparing who has what and who looks like what and just straight up infringing on other peoples lives. And let me tell you, I didn’t leave college because I was a slacker or couldn’t do the work, I graduated high school in 3 years and have always been a good ‘student,’ I just truly believe that they [the system] try to keep us from believing that we on our own are sufficient as self and that nothing else defines us. Untrue. They make us believe that our intelligence has to be accredited by an institution, when really, everything we need to know is within us… and they don’t want us to utilize that power. Part of that is because America’s economy thrives on student loan debt, as it keeps the economy running. And if you acquire student loans, you’re essentially locked in for life, which re-enslaves us to the system by the illusion of money and feeling of lack of liberation.

In doing all of this learning and cleansing and finding myself, I discovered that life transformation and real-life success and happiness takes place through working on my inner self after a new layer of perception came to my surface. Being successful in life, to me, means following your dreams, thinking positively, liberating your mind, seeing your positive manifestations and seeds of hard work germinate in front of your eyes, living life by your own standards, giving back to causes you believe in, and being financially free, granted that is a desire you express to the Universe.

My spiritual journey began with reading the book, You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero (linked at the end). Reading this book revealed to me that my current reality was ‘manifested’ by me. All of my negative thoughts were turned into negative things present in my life, but I (and we all) have the power to reshape the reality to what is desired within. Jen does a phenomenal and entertaining job at explaining why we are our own enemy, and provides specific steps to take so that you can make positive changes in all aspects of your life: financially, career-wise, emotionally, etc. She goes in depth on how to connect with The Universe, manifest the life you want, and so much more.

 Artwork by Isabel Bryna

Artwork by Isabel Bryna

After reading this book, many others, a plethora of articles and personal blogs, numerology reports, astrology articles, and staying up til 3am night after night taking notes on how to positively change my life, (I still do this often, it’s a never ending process of growth), I began to feel much happier and furthermore discovered my purpose in life. Now a days, I wake up feeling joy knowing that the Universe supplies me with whatever I may want or need, and it’s up to me to speak and think it into existence with persistence, putting good energy into the Universe, taking action and working hard towards my goals, and maintaining a lot of faith.

In my present life, I feel an abundance of happiness. I find joy in the journey of spiritual and personal growth. I am excited to be in this body working towards my dreams and goals everyday. I am grateful for everything in my life. I am grateful for everything that will come into my life. I am grateful that the Universe exists to support and love me.

Thank you all so much for taking the time to read.



The following books and articles have brought me love, light, and clarity into my life. If you’re looking for a sign, this is it. Love yourself and grow, grow, grow.

*purchasing a book from the links provided gives me a small commission from Amazon. You are appreciated.

Books on The Law of Attraction

  1. The Secret  – Rhonda Byrne –
  2. Money, and the Law of Attraction – Esther & Jerry Hicks –
  3. Law of Attraction: Secrets To Unleashing The Powers From Within (money, happiness, love, success, achieve, dreams, visualisation techniques) Paperback – Daniel D’apollonio –

Books on Self-Help

  1. You are a Badass – Jen Sincero –
  2. Zen and the Art of Happiness Paperback – Chris Prentiss  
  3. The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book) – Don Miguel Ruiz –

Websites to get your personalized numerology report (this will help you understand yourself better)

  1. Personalized numerology video (My ULTIMATE favorite, you must do this, it’s a video that tells you all about yourself and is very eye opening)
  2. Cafe Astrology, numerology report –

Other Articles

  1. Understanding the Law of Attraction
  2. From Struggle to Success: 1 Belief That Can Change Your Life –


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